Everybody Hates Me
by SentaiFanatic
Summary: Follows the life and times of Doubledown, a Decepticon who can't seem to catch a break. Everything he does is wrong, he is respected by no one, and is hated by most of his peers. He has no unique powers, no special skills, and no friends. He finds he might have a chance to redeem himself when he meets Glit, a Decepticon animal mini-con, and their best medical officer
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I decided to do this as a writing exercise, as I'm currently suffering from writer's block. The thing about fanfics that bother me are Self-insertion fics. They bother me because they usually result in Mary Sues. You know, characters that everyone loves and is the most epic hero ever and usually pull deus ex machina out of their asses._

 _These can be found in every kind of fanfic, and Transformers are no exception. So I thought for my experiment, I would do the opposite:_

 _So here we go_

 **Everybody Hates Me: Chapter One**

Doubledown was a rather small Decepticon who was once a member of the Stunticons,and he was apt for that place on the team as his alt-form was a royal purple Cybertronian muscle car. The only problem was that he was quickly kicked out of the Stunticon team, as he had one little problem. Pretty much every single Decepticon on Cybertron disliked him.

This wasn't for no reason, of course; Doubledown with his incompetence, his clumsiness, and his lack of motivation had, one way or another, caused trouble for almost all the Decepticons. His first task that he had been given to him when he joined the Decepticon cause was to work in Shockwave's lab, as his assistant. But, due to an accident when cleaning the lab, he had unwittingly released a genetically mutated Insecticon that Shockwave had been working on. The resulting loss of energon, and the...personal damage to Shockwave's body had resulted in his swift dismissal. His next job had been working in the munitions factory, under the supervision of the Combaticon Swindle. Again, poor luck was on his side, and he accidentally dropped a live round on the ground... The resulting explosion had him in repairs for six Megacycles, the destruction of 1/3rd of the weapons factory, and the loss of another job.

You could duplicate this scenario with multiple other jobs and numerous different, but similar circumstances, and that would sum up Doubledown's life for you. It was amazing that Megatron hadn't scrapped him. Some theorized that the only reason Megatron had not done so was because Doubledown had been one of his earliest supporters.

Despite being an early Decepticon, he didn't exactly paint the perfect picture of a Decepticon. He wasn't very passionate about the cause, nor was he very social. He liked to spend most of his time alone, either reading data discs, or playing video games for his Primacron 64. That being said, he wasn't completely useless... Well, he wasn't the bravest or most skilled Decepticon warriors, but he wasn't a coward either.

Today he was going to be starting a new job today, tending to the animal Mini-cons. He was not feeling confident about this job, in fact, he was really worried about this. He had good reason for this, because the Mini-cons were probably the only Decepticons that he hadn't gotten on the bad side of ...except for that one incident with Frenzy and Rumble. Long story short, don't ask them which one is which.

That morning,he left the barracks where he lived with several other Decepticon troops and made his way to the pen where the animal Mini-cons lived. As he drove toward the pen, he mentally ran through his duties. He was to feed them energon, replenish their weapon's ammunition, and keep their exterior hulls clean and shiny. It wasn't a glamorous job, but it was a new chance...maybe his last one.

 **Continuing in Chapter 2: My new job, and a new friend**


	2. Chapter 2: A New Job, A New Friend

_Author's Note: There's a gender-changed character here. Just roll with it_

 **Chapter 2: A New Job and a New Friend**

The majority of the animal mini-cons belonged to Soundwave, as his little agents for various unpleasant operations. There was Beastbox, Squawktalk, Sundor,Slugfest, Buzzsaw, Howlback, and Wingthing, and Garboil. The only animal mini-cons that belonged exclusively to Soundwave that were not present were Ravage and Laserbeak, and that was because they stayed with their master at ALL times. Of course, Ratbat wasn't present either, but it wouldn't do for a Cybertronian senator to stay in an animal pen.

There were other animal mini-cons as well, those that operated with other partners, or independently, and most of them had a bird or cat-like protoform, but there were a few unique exceptions. There was a Snake mini-con named Whitenoise, a Horse mini-con name Trampleback, and a Shark mini-con called Staticfang, the only mini-con that was kept in a tank of water.

Doubledown's job seemed easy at first, but when he actually got into it, he realized just how complicated it was. Each mini-con had a specific quantity of energon they needed to be fed daily, based not only on their form, but their weapons capabilities. This meant that no two mini-cons got the same amount of energon for feeding. And it was imperative that he fed the correct amount to the correct mini-con, because too little, and they would not be effective in battle, and too much energon would result in overloading.

Doubledown was beginning to suspect that the Decepticon that got him this job was setting him up for a fall...

And if the energon issue wasn't enough, each mini-con had their own type of ammunition to be loaded into their body before battle. Now this wouldn't be a problem on a relaxed schedule, but when seven or eight mini-cons are called in, and you have to supply them all right then and there? Well, brother, now you've got yourself a hectic job.

On the bright side, Doubledown was doing fine, for now; But it was only his first day. He had plenty of time of time to screw things up, and plenty of experience to boot. How many more times would he be given chances? Was this the last one? If another battle was lost to the Autobots because of a fumble on Doubledown's part, would Megatron finally decide to cut his losses and scrap him? These thoughts ran through his head as he was feeding energon to each mini-con, his head swimming in a daze, each of his failures replayed for him like he was in his own personal movie theater, and the words on the marquee outside were " Congratulations! You're a Failure!".

"Hey, pay attention," a voice said sharply. It was a feminine voice, strong, but pleasing to the audio receptors. It snapped Doubledown out of his stupor quickly enough, but he realized he had no idea where the voice came from. He looked around the pen slowly. He wasn't the only animal keeper, but there shouldn't have been anyone else there, aside from the animals. It was his shift...wasn't it?

"Over here, big boy," the voice spoke again, this time with impatience and a little bit of amusement. He had only guessed it before, but this time here was certain. The voice came from one of the pens. He looked over and saw a white jaguar mini-con with blue legs, and bright yellow eyes looking at him. He stared, dumbfounded, and then glanced over at the name on the pen: Glit.

"Ok, very funny," Doubledown began to say...

But he was quickly interrupted when Glit began talking in that same attractive, yet stern voice, " It's not a joke, and once again, pay attention. You were about to give me the wrong dose of energon." Doubledown realized his mistake and quickly switched the dish of energon to match Glit's required dosage, and set it down before her.

"You...talk... I thought the only animal mini-con that could talk was Ratbat," Doubledown said cautiously.

" No, I am fully capable of speech. I am a field medic and surgeon after all. I hope I'd at least be able to speak."

"Wait, you're that intelligent?!" Doubledown was amazed. " If you're so...well... brainy, why are you here in the pen?

Glit licked her paw and sat up straight, looking regal, if not a bit pompous. She spoke with her eyes closed and her nose turned just a bit upward, "It's a punishment...From Megatron. He doesn't agree with my ideals as a doctor. I will save anyone that needs medical attention. Autobot or Decepticon. I may have chosen a side in this war, but I will not stand by and see a fellow Cybertronian suffer. Because I won't compromise on my ideals, Megatron has forced me to live here, with the other feral mini-cons."

Doubledown processed all that she said and frowned, well he would have frowned if he had lips, and not the faceplate that covered the majority of face. "That hardly seems fair. It's not like you're fighting against Decepticons, or only repairing Autobots."

"That doesn't matter to Megatron, darling. His only concern is winning the war. The more autobot corpses he can tread upon, the closer he gets to that goal," she mused, in turn.

"You're...some kinda poet," Doubledown said, although there was a lack of confidence in his words. He didn't know whether it would be appropriate to give her the title of poet, or if she was just philosophical. Glit could tell that this Decepticon was quite simple-minded, but there was a charm about him that she liked. It was strange, since she couldn't stand ignorant Cybertronians, but there was something about this buffoon. He might make a good pet.

"Whatever you wish to call me, darling, " Glit said with a purr, " Enough about me though. Why not tell me about you? You've got quite the reputation among the Decepticons. That's quite the accomplishment...Not a good reputation, Primus no, but a reputation nonetheless. For instance! I heard you were a former Stunticon. How does that work? After all, if I'm correct, The Stunticons already have all the members they need to form Menasor."

"Well, Shockwave was toying with the possibility to eventually make the combiners even bigger by adding extra Transformers to the equation," Doubledown began, while Glit settled down and began to lap at her energon. "But in truth, I was the Stunticons' designated stand-in. Like, imagine we're in a big battle...and one of the Stunticons, like Breakdown gets badly injured. But Megatron wants Menasor on the battlefield. That's where I would have come in. I would have taken Breakdown's place while he got repairs."

" That seems like an important job... Did you ever become a part of Menasor?"

Doubledown rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, " Only during practice. I never got to fill in during an actual battle. Besides, I wasn't with the Stunticons long."

"Why not? You were a valuable, possibly indispensable addition to the team?"

" Well... I mean... You yourself said I have a reputation. One day, during our training exercises, I was in control of the training room controls. Wildrider was supposed to be on the nitro speed track course, but...well.. I accidentally hit the button that switched it to the corrosive acid pit course... I don't think Wildrider's colors will ever be the same again."

At this Glit actually snorted energon into her nose and doubled over laughing. Doubledown lowered his head. That was typically the reaction that people had when discussing his "famous exploits". Surprisingly though, it turned out Glit wasn't laughing AT HIM.

"Oh I would have loved to have heard Wildrider when they pulled him out of that pit! I can only imagine how much he must have been panicking. Despite how much he comes off as a psycho and a daredevil, I know he's just as vain as that Autobot, Tracks."

Even Doubledown allowed himself a chuckle at that, "Well, I wouldn't go that fair, but yes, he was quite upset with me."

Glit chuckled and looked to Doubledown, this simple Decepticon growing on her even more. "Hey," she said, her voice much less stern now, "You should probably get back to work... Don't want to get fired on your first day."

"No I certainly don't," Doubledown said, a bit more happiness in his voice, more than there had been in a long time, "Hey, do you want me to let you out? You're not feral, there's no need for you to stay in there."

"It's a tempting offer, but it would be pointless. I would just be thrown back in here, and Megatron would punish you. And I don't want that. I'll be fine in here, just get back to your work, " she said, not scolding him, just pleasantly reassuring him.

And Doubledown was reassured. Better than that, he was reinvigorated. Why? Well, clearly it was because he had made a new friend in Glit, and he felt like there was a reason to enjoy his job...Now all he had to do was not screw it up...

 **  
Next Time: Chapter Three: The White Cat**


	3. Chapter 3: The White Cat

**Chapter 3: The White Cat**

It had been a few megacycles since Doubledown had left his shift, and Glit was resting in her pen, conserving her energy in case of a sudden need for a field medic. It was quiet in the pen, most of the animal mini-cons had settled themselves in, some enjoying the peace and quiet, and others hungry to break the monotony and scrap some Autobots.

It wasn't long after that moment that the Decepticon Blitzwing entered the pen. It was somewhat dark in the pen, but what little light there was reflected off the 'Con's red visor. Glit stared at him, wondering why he was in here. She felt her servos tense when Blitzwing came to her pen and opened it

"Come on, scraplet. Megatron has requested your presence," he said with the voice of a typical thug. And that's what most of Megatron's forces were, unfortunately: thugs. Oh sure, there were intelligent Decepticons, like Starscream, Acid Storm, Shockwave, Soundwave, to name a few, and there were those who were tactical geniuses, like the Combaticon leader Onslaught, but then you had the brainless thugs like Blitzwing, who were just in this for a good time.

That was what disgusted Glit the most. These ex-gladiator types that rose through the Decepticon ranks by currying Megatron's favor. They cared nothing about independence for all of Cybertron, nor did they care about saving the dying planet. They just wanted to do what they did best. Be the big guy who steamrolls over the weaker bots and take what they wanted. Glit guessed that Blitzwing probably wouldn't even enjoy a fair fight, Primus forbid a challenging fight. She guessed he would likely get extremely frustrated and clumsy in a battle with an opponent that kept him on his toes.

She said none of this of course, nor did she fight the summon. She calmly walked out of her pen and let Blitzwing escort her to Megatron's command center in Kaon.

The Decepticon Command Center in Kaon had formerly been the largest gladitorial pit on Cybertron, and the place where Megatron gained his fame, and took his namesake. When the war started, the gladiator fights ceased, and Megatron had it converted into a base of operations for his Decepticons. When Glit and Blitzwing arrived, she found Megatron seated upon his ludicrously ostentatious throne he had put in the center of central area of of the base. The sycophant, Ratbat, was perched on his arm, looking down at her with contempt.

"You summoned me, oh mighty Megatron?" she asked, putting on airs for the Decepticon tyrant.

"I did indeed," responded Megatron, ignoring the mini-cons evident sarcastic tone," I am letting you know that you are no longer confined to the animal pen. I need you out on the front lines as often as possible. We continue to lose good Decepticon soldiers in this war, and we have precious few medics to keep casualties to a minimum."

Glit was genuinely pleased and thanked Megatron. She doubted that he was ending her punishment because of his faith in her, but rather because he needed her out there at a moment's notice, not cooped up in a pen and only arriving after she was summoned.

"Don't thank me just yet," Megatron cautioned. At these words, Glit grew anxious, which did not help when Ratbat let out a malicious chuckle. " I can't rely on you to act independently any longer. I know I cannot force you to abandon your ideals. However, you must make wounded Decepticons a priority. And to make sure you do that, I want you to have a partner with you on the battlefield."

"A partner?!" Glit cried out. She had always worked alone,she worked better that way. It was what set her apart, since universally, most mini-cons would always prefer to work with a partner if a larger Transformer would have them. Because as everyone knows, mini-cons are small, and the weakest of Transformers. But with a larger bot by their side, they could truly be a force to be reckoned with. Mini-cons longed for partners so much that there were even instances of a Decepticon mini-con joining the Autobots, and vice versa, just to have a partner.

This was where Glit was different from the others. She didn't need a partner. Her medical skills were better than most average sized Cybertronians, and she didn't even have hands. She also didn't want a partner. They were a liability... But it seemed her paws were tied here. It was either a partner, or back to imprisonment.

"Very well, Megatron...Who is to be my partner?" she asked

"Well that is something I am going to let you decide who you want to be your partner"

The options ran through her head. The first choice was of course, Soundwave, who made the best use of Mini-cons. However, she figured Soundwave would use her as a spy tool, rather than a medic. He was the Decepticon Spymaster after all, she couldn't blame him for that, but she decided they wouldn't be a good fit.

She also considered Onslaught, the Combaticon leader. He was a brave and smart soldier, and he would keep her safe on the battlefield...However, she deduced that Onslaught would grow impatient with her treating the wounded and guarding her while there were still enemies on the field to clear out. And he DEFINITELY wouldn't allow her to treat any Autobots.

...Then, come to think of it, who would allow her that?

Then, all of at once, it hit her: "Megatron, I chose the Decepticon known as Doubledown as my partner."

Megatron nearly choked on the Energon wine he had been drinking and Ratbat fell off his arm. Megatron coughed up the wine, which had infiltrated the wrong processing tube of his throat. "Him?! He's the worst soldier I have under my command! Literally, the worst! I would rather turn my back on ten thousand Starscreams than have him on my side on the battlefield!"

"Well that's why I want him," she smirked arrogantly, " He's...different. I'm sure he'll keep me safe and follow your orders...Besides, if he hurts himself, I can always patch him up...Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going to greet my new partner."

With that, Glit left the Command Center, going to find the barracks where Doubledown was stationed. Meanwhile, Megatron groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

Next time: **Chapter Four: I'm a Nurse?!**


	4. Chapter 4: I'm a Nurse?

**Chapter Four: I'm a Nurse?!**

The barracks were empty, save for Doubledown. All of the other Decepticons that lived in the barracks with him were out enjoying a mug of oil at the mess hall, to celebrate a recent victory against the Autobots. As usual, Doubledown was not invited. In fact, some brutish Decepticons, like Brawl, had threatened him bodily harm if he showed his face at the mess hall during the party.

So Doubledown was left alone in his cramped quarters, playing his Primacron 64 by himself. He at least had a small comfort in that he was able to get a hold of a rare vintage video game, "The Quest for the Matrix". He had been looking for that game for a long time, and he finally had it, all to himself. So he was surprise, and a little annoyed, when the door to his quarters buzzed.

"Aw, c'mon..." he grumbled, setting down his controller, " Just when I was getting to the boss level..." Doubledown didn't waste his time though. He knew what he would be in for if he kept a superior officer waiting. And he couldn't imagine who would visit him at this time other than a superior officer, wanting to boss him around a little.

He walked to the door and pressed the red button on the wall, which caused the door to open automatically. He was surprised to see Glit, the little white mini-con he had just met earlier.

"Glit? What are you doing out of your pen?" he asked.

"It seems medics are in short supply and high demand. Megatron has given me an official pardon."

"That's great!" Doubledown said happily, and would have smiled, were it not for his lack of an actual mouth, " I mean, it's going to be a little lonelier without you in the pen, but I'm happy for you"

"Not so fast, big boy," Glit said in a clipped tone. Doubledown wasn't sure how to feel about that little nickname. As previously mentioned, Doubledown was a smaller Decepticon, and had never thought of his stature much. " There's a catch to my freedom..." Glit continued. "You see, Megatron has decided that I can be free and not compromise on my ethics... But the trade-off is I have to give Decepticon soldiers priority on the battlefield. Which I am fine with..." Glit paused a moment, and then walked into his quarters and made herself at home, laying on his sleeping station, " But the catch here is that Megatron doesn't trust me, and made me pick a partner to work with me."

Doubledown nodded, having listened to everything she had said, " I see... Well, that's not so bad. So did you just drop by to tell me the news?"

"No, big boy," Glit shook her head, " You're it."

" Me...What?"

"You're my partner."

And that was when Doubledown suddenly went offline. Glit was shocked to see him drop to the ground like a big toy that's battery had suddenly died. Nevertheless, she was a doctor and rushed to his side. She had a built in diagnostic scanner in her left eye, and after a thorough search, she concluded there was nothing wrong with him; His processor simply chose to shut down after hearing the news. A bit disappointing. But she chose to sit there and wait until he rebooted.

She didn't have to wait long. His glowing blue eyes had been the first thing to come back online after the reboot. They flickered a few times before settling into a soft glow. A few nanoclicks later, Doubledown slowly sat up and looked to Glit, " What happened...?"

"We were discussing how you have been made my partner on the battlefield," Glit responded patiently.

"Partner?! I can't be... Am I supposed to be your bodyguard?! Surely there are plenty Decepticons better than I... I mean, you've heard the stories about me, right?!"

"I have. And I still chose you, Doubledown. I didn't choose you because I thought you were strong, or skilled... You're clearly not."

"...Thanks for your honesty," Doubledown said miserably.

"Anytime, now don't interrupt," Glit continued, " I chose you because I saw something in you that I very rarely see in a Decepticon: Compassion. You're exactly the type of partner I need. One that won't try to rush me when I'm working to save lives, even if it's an Autobot life. Also you won't threaten to terminate me for trying to save an Autobot."

Doubledown leaned back against the wall and groaned, "So what am I supposed to do...? Protect you on the battlefield?"

"To a certain extent," Glit purred, " But try not to get over anxious about it. Despite my appearance, I am fully capable of defending myself when not performing surgery. And besides, I think you'll notice many Autobots will either look the other way or their weapons will conveniently become 'jammed' when it comes to me. My reputation isn't just known among the Decepticons."

"I just don't know..." Doubledown said in a pitiful tone.

"Doubledown! Enough. Have you ever considered maybe the reason you fail so often is that you don't have confidence in yourself? You expect failure... So I can promise you, that's the result you are going to get when you're counting on it. But... Hey! Don't look away! Look at me! But I have faith in you. I wouldn't pick you if I seriously thought you couldn't do this. I'm not going to endanger my own life just to help out a friend."

" We're...friends?"

Glit rolled her eyes heavily at this, " OF COURSE we're friends, Doubledown. Now please tell me what I said has gotten through to you, even only a fraction of it. I believe in you. Now you have to believe in you."

Doubledown considered her words deeply. Believe in myself? There was a time he did, in the early days. But then the first accident happened, and then another one. After that, he lost complete confidence in himself. After all, the other Decepticons had no confidence in him either. It was only because of that one instance, a long time ago, where Megatron had been "in his debt" that Doubledown still functioned. But even the thing he had down for Megatron all those years ago didn't make him immune to punishment. He would eventually be put permanently offline by Megatron, he knew that.

...But then Glit had said what she said about his confidence. Was that really his problem? Was it his abiding belief that his existence was just waiting to see what would be the last straw before he was staring down the barrel of Megatron's fusion cannon? Would things be different, if he himself believed they would be?

...It couldn't hurt to try, at this point.

"Alright, I'll do it," Doubledown said, " So, what is my main job as your bodyguard?"

"Aaaactually... You'd be more like my nurse."

"A nurse?!" Doubledown cried out, taken aback.

"Yep, and we start first thing at the beginning of the new solar cycle. So let's rest up...Oooh I see you have a little video game. Why don't you play and I'll watch."

 **Next Chapter: Saving Private Ironhide**


	5. Chapter 5: Saving Private Ironhide

**Chapter Five: Saving Private Ironhide**

A battlefield was always a hectic place to be, and even moreso if you were a coward. But this was worse than any of the few battles Doubledown had participated before. The skirmish was taking place among the ruins of Crystal City. The area had basically become a useless zone since all of the buildings were in ruins after Devastator smashed it to bits, and since it wasn't favorably located near Kaon OR Iacon, neither faction had much interest in holding it. Basically, whichever faction was passing through Crystal City at the time was the faction that controlled it.

But all of that changed when an Autobot scouting party led by Jazz had managed to locate an underground Energon reserve. Immediately, an Autobot crew was brought to begin mining the precious resource, but it wasn't long before the Decepticons got wind of the news, and suddenly, Crystal City was an essential location for both armies.

There had already been three battles for Crystal City since the discovery of the Energon reserve, and the fighting had so far been at a standstill. Neither faction could mine the source of fuel, which at this point, could have been dried up for all either faction knew. The Autobots had thus far been able to hold the Decepticons back, but not make enough of a foothold to establish any lasting defenses.

It was yet another skirmish for Crystal City that Doubledown and Glit found themselves in. As Glit's partner, Doubledown had been issued a Subsonic Repeater, a common, standard-issue weapon for smaller Cybertronians. It was hardly considered dangerous except in the hand of a capable warrior...Which Doubledown was not. But he was no longer a front line soldier. He was a field medical assistant, or nurse, and Glit's personal bodyguard.

Of course, Glit didn't really need him to defend her. She was more than capable of defending herself with her metal cutting laser weapon that was built into her optics (which were also handy for surgery) and her hip-mounted anti-personnel missiles. What really made Doubledown useful to Glit was that he wouldn't interrupt her during her work, even if she was repairing an Autobot, and the fact that he had been outfitted with a backpack that held all sorts of first aid goodies is what made him truly useful to her.

Doubledown was keeping his head down as a constant barrage of laser blasts flew in every direction like a chaotic light show. He knelt by Glit as she stood atop the chest of a fallen Decepticon. She had a mini-blow torch in her mouth and she was carefully sealing a hole in the Decepticon's breastplate, after she had fixed the fried circuitry within. Doubledown knew the Decepticon in question. His name was Barricade, and he wasn't so different from Doubledown, at least in terms of body-type, and having a similar vehicle mode. But Barricade had been a member of the Cybertronian police, before hanging up his peace-keeping badge to join the Decepticon cause. He remembered Barricade not exactly being the friendliest Decepticons, even by comparison to how poorly he was treated by others.

Barricade was a bully, plain and simple. That was why he had joined the Cybertronian police force, and why he later left it for the Decepticons. Power. It was all about power for some bots. Barricade was attracted to the power that Megatron offered. Because of this lust for power, Barricade idolized the strong, like Megatron, and made full use of his own power to torment those weaker than himself. Which was why Doubledown had been a favorite target of his. How many times had he been the victim of a favorite prank of Barricade (which involved setting off an EMP grenade right when he was refueling himself with Energon.)?

In all fairness, despite how much they disliked him, NO Decepticon would have judged him for wishing death on Barricade, except perhaps Glit. But strangely, he didn't. As much as he disliked Barricade, he honestly hoped that Glit would be able to fix him. It wasn't out of any fanatical loyalty to the Decepticons, it was simply because Doubledown didn't want anyone to go offline. Since the Allspark had been ejected from Cybertron, there were far too few living Cybertronians left on the planet. Life was all the more precious, yet more and more were lost each day with this war.

Which was interesting when one considered that Doubledown had been one of Megatron's earliest supporters. Doubledown was a low-caste, just like Megatron had been. A lowly ironworker in the smelting pits of Kaon. But Doubledown had never wanted a war. He just wanted equal rights for all Cybertronians. In fact, he might have become an Autobot were it not for that fateful day, just three days after the war for Cybertron had begun.

Megatron and a small contingency of troops had attacked the Hydrax raceway during a televised broadcast of a race between Team Velocitron and Team Stunticon. The battle was not for any strategic purpose other than to send a message to all of Cybertron that it was no longer safe to just lead a life of leisure. During that battle, the Autobot known as Wheeljack had caught Megatron offguard, and with his twin swords, slashed Megatron's breastplate deep, to the point of exposing his spark core.

The Stunticons had seen the attack and pursued Wheeljack, but no one had seemed to notice how badly Megatron had been injured...Perhaps they thought Megatron was dead, or invincible and therefore it was not worth paying attention to. he would soon get up. All except Doubledown. He noticed. He raced over to Megatron, and managed to quickly cauterize the wound with a vibroblade. It was perhaps Doubledown's ONE lucky moment. With his streak of luck, one would have thought Doubledown would have mistakenly stabbed Megatron's spark and ended it all right there.

After which, Doubledown had radioed Soundwave about the situation, and the Decepticon spymaster had gotten the Decepticon leader to safety. Megatron did not forget the bot who saved his life, and when Megatron was back on his feet, he proclaimed, in front of the entire Decepticon army, that Doubledown was a "Hero of the Decepticons" and all cheered his name. Of course, his luck only plummeted from there. But that was why Megatron had spared him for so long...For the time being, at least.

Glit shouted at Doubledown, "Quick, I need an Energon infusion!"

Doubledown shook himself back into reality. Just how long had he been reminiscing in his own head? Well, no one else was hurt, so no harm, no foul. He reached into the pack and pulled out a miniature Energon cube and handed it to Glit, who took it in her mouth.

Glit turned back to Barricade and rammed the Energon cube into his chest. Barricade's eyes flickered back into life, and he slowly got to his feet. He simply looked at Glit and said , "Thanks, Doc"

"You're combat ready again, soldier, " she replied," Now get back out there!" With no further words, or even acknowledging Doubledown's presence, Barricade charged back out into the field.

Glit was traipsing through the battlefield, searching for fallen soldiers, with Doubledown following behind cautiously. it really was true. Both Autobots and Decepticons really did make an effort to avoid firing on Glit. Doubledown began to think that maybe this job wouldn't be so bad.

That was until he heard the news. Word had spread around the battlefield that the Autobot known as Ironhide had arrived on the battlefield. Less courageous Decepticons were already fleeing for cover, despite not even seeing him yet, and even the braver Decepticons had become tense. So naturally, Doubledown was almost paralyzed with fear.

And then they saw him approach. He was a bulky Autobot with powerful frame and bright red armor. Underneath his helmet was a stern, no-nonsese face. And on each of his arms were two large ballistic cannons. He calmly strode onto the battlefield, walking upright, erect, without a care for any lasers that flew past him. Some laser blasts even hit him, leaving a scorch mark, but Ironhide didn't even flinch or halt his march. Nearby Decepticons that he approached gave up an pretense of being warriors and outright fled the battlefield. One Decepticon had tried making a stand, and rushed toward Ironhide with a drawn vibroblade. For his troubles, he had been lifted up, and snapped in half over Ironhide's knee.

When Ironhide had moved deeper into battlefield, he finally began opening fire, his ballistic rounds tearing through Decepticon soldiers. Glit was trying to get to them, but was unable to in all the chaos. Suddenly, the Decepticon known as Demolisher had rolled onto the battlefield in his alt mode and fired a salvo of explosive rounds at Ironhide. Ironhide leapt back, narrowly avoiding a direct hit. But he had been hit by the blastback, and worse. For Demolisher's missiles had struck an Energon vein in ground, which resulted in a massive explosion. The resulting blast had incinerated any caught in the blast radius, including Demolisher. They were completely destroyed...Except for Ironhide. He had miraculously survived, but he was in bad shape. One of his legs had been blown off, and both of his arm cannons had been destroyed. But he had wounds and tears all over his body,and a massive piece of shrapnel embedded in his head.

Glit saw how extensive his injuries were and looked to Doubledown, "Come on, let's go!"

"Are you nuts? That's Ironhide! He's one of the most dangerous Autobots around!" Doubledown protested

"And now he needs our help," Glit replied and charged into the field to Ironhide. Doubledown simply sighed and ran after her.

 **Continued in Chapter 6: Court Martial**


	6. Chapter 6: The Court Martial

**Chapter 6: The Court Martial**

Glit and Doubledown had made a path through the battlefield to Ironhide, much to the amazement of the Autobots and Decepticons in the field who witnessed it. It was one thing to repair an enemy soldier if the opportunity arose; It was wholly another thing to charge into the thick of a volatile battleground to rescue one of the most dangerous Autobot soldiers on Cybertron. Suffice to say, the Decepticons present were none too pleased, and Doubledown could practically feel their optics burning a hole into his head.

Glit didn't care about this though, and she began to work, using her optical laser cutter to seal Ironhide's more egregious wounds. Most of the Decepticons on the field were enraged, of course, but not foolish enough to attack their own medic... Except for one. It was the Decepticon known as Octane, who had been brought to the field less for fighting purposes, and more for hauling Energon away from the battlefield.

But Octane had been so incensed that Glit was repairing a notorious Autobot that he leapt from his cover and charged the battlefield, his blaster raised.

"Traitor!" he shouted, training his blasters sights on the white cat.

Glit glanced over toward Octane momentarily, but then returned to her work, shouting an order to Doubledown, " Keep him off me! I have delicate work to do here! Do whatever you need to do, I'll repair him later!"

Doubledown was not pleased, not at all. He was a poor fighter, and all he had was a piddly subsonic repeater, which he was hesitant to raise on a fellow Decepticon, much less a superior officer (but then, who WASN'T superior to Doubledown? Fortunately, he didn't have to do much of anything. Because the Autobots had caught sight of what was about to happen and they themselves defended Glit. Octane was rained down upon by a volley of laser blasts and neutron assault rounds from almost every type of Cybertronian small arms you could imagine. Needless to say, he made a quick retreat to cover, from which he did not reappear until he was sighted retreating from the battle itself.

The battle continued around Glit and Doubledown, but oddly, now the battle was taking place around them, neither side getting too close or firing in the vicinity of them. The Decepticons could have tried firing a kill shot to Ironhide, but that might cause another explosion, either from Ironhide himself, or from an exposed Energon vein, either of which would result in Glit and Doubledown going permanently offline. Not that they care about Doubledown, but Glit was indispensable.

Soon, Glit had finished the repairs she could make, and Ironhide was online, but in no condition to move of his own accord, much less fight. Not that it didn't stop him from trying. "My legs! I can't move them!" he roared, then noticed the small white cat mini-con standing on his chest.

"Yes, you're far too injured for that. Just stay here, your friends are coming for you," she replied to him. Ironhide was understandably dumbfounded by this, but he thanked the doc for her troubles. Glit stayed beside him so the Decepticons would not open fire, and soon, Sunstreaker and Skids had arrived and both of them pulled Ironhide away from the battlefield.

"Thanks for saving him, doc," Skids remarked to Glit as they dragged Ironhide away.

"Don't mention it," Glit murmured, then turned to Doubledown, " Now come along, we still have work to do."

Have you ever regretted a decision? Well, if you ask Doubledown, he'll tell you plenty of instances. Contrariwise, if you ask Glit, you'll get silence. However, one would think Glit would have, in this one instance, spoke up. Because not long after they left the battlefield (which the Autobots had won the day and defended the ruins of Crystal City for one more solar cycle), Glit and Doubledown were both arrested upon returning to Kaon by Garboil and a group of Decepticon Secret Police officers. Word had traveled quickly that Glit had not only saved a public enemy of the Decepticons, but the traitors had also "fired upon a superior officer", a testimony given by none other than Octane.

Glit and Doubledown were taken to the court of Kaon, which was a little bit more fair than say, a Quintesson Court. But a Kangaroo Court is still a Kangaroo Court. It might as well have been a public execution chamber, where bureaucracy ruled the day, to the frustration of everyone involved...except of course for the Decepticon judge: Magnificus.

Magnificus was a former military consulate, reassigned to the Decepticon judicial system (yes, they do in fact have one) and Magnificus made the Kaon court his own personal amusement center. He love bureaucracy. Forms needing to be signed in triplicate, legal jargon, form after form after form, this is where Magnificus flourished, which was why he did so poorly in a military setting: All of his nonsensical "busy work" prevented him from getting anything done. But here, he was king and had free reign to do with the court as he wished.

...He also vehemently denied ANY resemblance to the Autobot scientist Perceptor.

Glit and Doubledown were both brought before the court to a full audience of spectators, all of them thirsty for blood (oil?)

"We are now called to trial the Court Martial of Decepticon medic Glit and Decepticon nurse Doubledown." At the word "nurse" some of the less mature Decepticons let out hearty guffaws, but were soon silenced by Magnificus' gavel.

"Court Martial?!" Glit growled angrily, " For what? Doing my job?"

"Silence!" Magnificus shouted, and then observed the court room, his optics scanning the perimeter. "Now, is the prosecution ready?"

"I am, your honor," replied Gamede, a small blue and red Decepticon.

"And the defense?" asked Magnificus, looking over to a a nervous looking femmebot that was standing beside Glit and Doubledown

"Ready, your honor," replied Thunderblast, who then looked to Glit and Doubledown and whispered, " Honestly? I don't like our chances..."

"Why are you so concerned?" Doubledown asked.

"In this court the losing attorney usually gets executed as well... But hey, if we're lucky, maybe we can introduce enough evidence and testimonies to keep this trial going 50 gigacycles" she said hopefully.

"FIFTY GIGACYCLES?!" Glit roared in disbelief, and was again silenced by Magnificus.

"Now," Magnificus said with a wicked glee, his eyes lighting up, "Let us begin the trial..."

 **Continued in Chapter 7: I have nothing BUT contempt for this court!**


	7. Chapter 7 : The Trial

**Chapter 7: I have nothing BUT contempt for this court!**

The court of Kaon was a large circular theater with seating all around it for those that wished to watch judgement be passed down. The seating style was the same as a gladiator style event, which is no surprise since Magnificus' court had been constructed out of one of the old gladiator pits.

"Your honor," Glit began, I would like to speak if..."

The loud gavel silenced Glit. "No talking from the defendants!" Magnificus ordered, "The prosecution and defense will now give their opening statements! Mr. Gamede.. You may proceed."

The shifty Decepticon known as Gamede stood, and began walking around the court, presenting his case with an almost wicked glee, "Your honor, we are all aware that Megatron's word is law. If one cannot follow the law set forth by Megatron, then how can you even call yourself a Decepticon? Yet, on this day, in front of an entire batallion of Decepticons, THIS medic and her nurse did willfully treat and successfully resuscitated the fatally wounded Ironhide!" Gamede paused for effect, letting a hush fall over the crowd, "Yes, the Autobot war criminal Ironhide, responsible for who knows how many Decepticon deaths? He is near the top of the list of Megatron's Most Wanted...and these...these TRAITORS saved his filthy spark!"

The crowd in the courthouse began raving, throwing up their fists, shouting jeers and every insult they could label Glit and Doubledown with. After another bang of Magnificus' gavel, the court was quieted and Gamede returned to his seat. Now it was Thunderblast's turn, she slowly rose from her seat and approached the judge:

"Your honor... Um... It's no secret that my clients did assist a well-known and dangerous Autobot...But they...they... "…And suddenly Thunderblast broke down, pleading with the judge, " Please your honor, I didn't want to be their defense! I know they're guilty as Jhiaxus, but I don't want anything to do with them! I was picked for this randomly! I'm supposed to be scouting the Energon seas!"

Glit groaned and laid her head on the table, "This ...isn't...happening." She seemed more annoyed than afraid, while Doubledown was literally quaking in his servos.

Magnificus rolled his optics and looked down to Thunderblast, " Return to your seat, soldier."

Dejected, Thunderblast returned to her seat beside Glit and Doubledown. Glit simply glared at her wryly and said, "Smooth...Real smooth." Glit knew that there was absolutely no way they could win this case with Thunderblast as their defense. She was too afraid of the prospect of being scrapped herself. Glit rose up quickly and shouted, "Your honor! I would like to make an unusual request!"

Magnficus' curiosity was sated by this. The only thing more interesting than a court trial to him was when something unexpected happened. "Speak your request."

"I would like to dismiss Thunderblast as our attorney and I would like to represent myself and Doubledown."

The crowd in the court were speaking in hushed had not happened before. Why? Because if a Decepticon was on trial and they were going to be scrapped, they wanted to take someone down with them, even if it was an ally.

"An interesting request," Magnificus conceded, "Very well. Thunderblast, you are dismissed from this court and may return to your post."

Thunderblast let out a yelp of joy, leaping into the air. She actually hugged Glit AND Doubledown, thanking them profusely. But when she saw the glare in Magnificus' optics, she wasted no time transforming to alt form and taking off into the sky, fleeing the courtroom.

"Well if nothing else, we've saved one life out of this ridiculousness," Glit remarked, "Besides, she wasn't going to do us ANY favors as our attorney."

Magnificus banged his gavel once again, "Order! Enough delays. Call the first witness!"

Gamede rose from his seat, "The prosecution wishes to call Octane to the stand!"

It was then that Octane entered the court, to mass cheers, which he played up by waving. Being a fuel supplier certainly had its perks, even when you were a dirty cheat who hoarded more fuel than you supplied. Octane crossed over to the witness stand and took a seat, and then was made to swear upon the Covenant of Primus to (mostly) tell the truth.

Gamede approached him casually and asked, "You were at the battle of the Crystal City Ruins?"

"I was," he replied.

"And why were you sent to that battle, soldier?"

Octane smiled, "Well I'm the Decepticon fuel specialist, aren't I? And the battle was over an Energon deposit. I was there to load up as much Energon as possible and bring it back to Kaon."

"And when you were there, did you see the Autobot Ironhide?"

"Oh yeah..He was there. Giving our allies a REAL beating too!"

"So...what happened?" Gamede asked.

"A Decepticon,the late Demolisher, a good friend of mine too! He fired a missile that missed Ironhide, but struck an Energon vein that was protruding from the ground... As you can expect, there was quite an explosion...It vaporized my buddy...And left Ironhide dying."

"Tragic...Tragic," Gamede lamented, putting on some theatrics, " But, I suppose some good came out of it. Your friend didn't die in vain after all, right? I mean.. Ironhide was left dying on the battlefield... Right?"

"No that is not the case... Someone went and saved him!"

" How horrid... And can you point out WHO saved Ironhide?"

At that, Octane extended his arm and pointed squarely at Glit and Doubledown. The crowd in the court sent them a fresh supply of jeers and insults, only to be quieted by Magnificus' gavel.

Gamede shook his head at Glit, " Absolutely deplorable... UNETHICAL, EVEN! A Decepticon medic saving a dangerous Autobot terrorist, when there were probably plenty of Decepticons to treat.. Oh but that's not all, is it Octane? Something else happened, right?"

Glit stood, her forepaws against the table, "Objection!", she snarled, " He's leading the witness!"

"Overruled..." Magnificus said with a tone of boredom in his voice. "Continue, Gamede."

"Thank you, your honor," Gamede replied and then looked to Octane, "You went to stop this, didn't you? You heroically charged into the heat of battle to put down that dangerous Autobot, and what happened?"

"The nurse shot me and I had to retreat," Octane replied.

"Objection! I did not! That's a complete lie!" Doubledown protested.

"Overruled, Decepticon. Also keep your mouth shut!" Magnificus scolded.

Gamede smiled and looked to the judge, "I have no further questions..."

Magnificus processed this testimony for a few moments and then looked to Glit, "Would you care to cross-examine?"

Glit shrugged her shoulders, not seeing much of a point to it: Octane would surly lie, but she figured she might as well. She stood up and approached the witness stand, " Octane, is it possible you were mistaken when you say it was my partner that shot you? I mean, consider, we were on a battlefield crawling with Autobots and you were about to execute one of their heroes. Don't you consider it possible that one of them shot you?"

"No, it was definitely Doubledown," Octane replied.

"You're sure?" Glit responded.

Octane was feeling a bit suspicious at how insistent Glit was, but he pressed on, "Yes I'm sure."

"Ah, so you retreated when Doubledown shot at you once.. So you admit you are weaker than Doubledown." Glit said with a smug grin.

The court was completely alive with uproarious laughter. Decepticons were falling out of their seats, unable to control themselves. Octane, humiliated, shouted something but it was lost in the sea of laughter.

Finally, Magnificus gavel slammed down, and all were silent,"Order..." he commanded ominously

Glit looked to Octane," I'm sorry, would you repeat that last part?"

Octane grit his teeth, glaring at the smug little mini-con and said, "I said... I wasn't actually shot by Doubledown...It was an Autobot...a big one! And he had a really powerful gun! Like a fusion cannon!."

Glit purred and turned away, " Nothing more your honor," she said and returned to her seat.

Magnificus looked to Octane and excused him. Octane quickly fled the court room, as several Decepticons in the court were still supressing giggles as they watched him. Next, Magnificus turned to Gamede and said, "Your next witness?"

Gamede was a bit shaken, not expecting Octane to do a heel turn like that, " Um...Your honor, I have no other witnesses."

Magnificus looked disappointed and turned to Glit, "Would you like to call any witnesses?"

Glit would have wanted to call Megatron to the stand, but she knew he wasn't here, and that he wouldn't come, not even for an official court summons. "No your honor," she sighed.

Magnificus processed this information, and then spoke, "In that case, I am forced to move this to the closing arguments. Mr. Prosecutor, if you please."

Gamede rose from his seat and spoke, "Sadly, despite the untruths by my witness Octane, I am forced to concede that I will drop my charges of assault on a superior officer. However, the case STILL stands that these Decepticons did WILLFULLY treat a dangerous Autobot. We are all aware Glit has been given some leeway with her medical...ethics… But to save one of Megatron's Most Wanted...? That is beyond appropriate. Thank you." And with that, Gamede returned to his seat.

Next it was Glit's turn. She rose from her seat and began to pace the court room, walking in circles like a predatory cat that she was," It is true, I healed Ironhide...And I don't regret it. The fact is that you should all know that Megatron permitted me to treat Autobots, and he did NOT specify that I had any limitations. My only limitations that he imposed was that I have a companion and that I prioritized Decepticon soldiers first. I did nothing wrong on that battlefield. There were no seriously injured Decepticons at the time...at least none that I could save. Demolisher was BEYOND repair of any kind. But Ironhide was not... He could be saved, so I did just that. I broke no command of Lord Megatron, and Doubledown is even less guilty. He warned me against repairing Ironhide, but he reports to me. So I take all responsibility for this. Thank you."

Doubledown stared at Glit as she returned to the seat. He couldn't believe she stuck her neck out for him like that. No one had ever done anything like that for him. He began to feel some weird things going on around his chestplate.

Magnificus banged his gavel for effect, and surveyed the entire court, his kingdom and said, "I am ready to pass out sentence..."

 **Continued in Chapter 8: Oh Shit, What are we gonna do now?!**


End file.
